The Psychology of Happiness

In our society, our idea of what happy looks like, and what makes people happy, is actually quite different from reality.

Happiness is not always about being joyful, playful or grateful, and it is not connected to how much wealth or material goods we have.

The feeling of happiness is often achieved through:

• a sense of contentment with what one has,
• being deeply connected to those we love and
• allowing room for both positive and negative emotions in our day-to-day experiences.

When you’re searching for happiness somewhere else, you miss the opportunity to recognize the good all around you.

The idea of pursuing happiness is actually a fallacy. When you’re searching for happiness somewhere else, you miss the opportunity to recognize the good all around you. And what if the current moment feels sad or hopeless? Typically, those are also times when we conjure feelings of love and appreciation for those around us.

Joy and sorrow are closely linked, and where you find one, it’s not hard to see the other.

Money can’t buy happiness

Living in a capitalist society, we often have the idea that more money will lead to greater happiness. However, research has shown that money and happiness are only related to the point of being able to provide for your basic needs. If you can’t provide shelter, food and basic necessities for yourself, then money and happiness are very much related.

Money and happiness are only related to the point of being able to provide for your basic needs.

But once the money we have provides those things, material wealth and happiness are no longer strongly related. Often, focusing on making money to achieve some sort of easy and happy life of fancy cars, a large home and expensive vacations leads people to compare themselves to those who have more; and someone always has more. This way of thinking can actually detract significantly from one’s happiness.

Build stronger relationships

One of the most important contributors to a strong feeling of satisfaction with one’s life is frequent and meaningful contact with loved ones.

People feel content when they know that others are there to offer support and that they are not alone.

The people you surround yourself with—whether it be close friends and family or even a brief but kind connection with acquaintances or neighbors—provide a wealth of opportunity to feel loved, supported and connected.

People feel content when they know that others are there to offer support and that they are not alone.

A supportive social safety net

In addition to relationships, there are other factors that contribute to an individual’s happiness that are often overlooked.

For example, living in a country with a stable government where citizens feel secure and cared for is important to our well-being. Last summer, I taught a study abroad class in Copenhagen, Denmark, one of the happiest countries in the world.

One of the things we learned was that Danish citizens are supported by a well-developed and extensive social welfare system that provides strong education, quality health care—even urban planning that considers the well-being of the citizens.

Living in a country with a stable government where citizens feel secure and cared for is important to our well-being.

While they pay high taxes, many daily stressors and struggles are managed by the government. When we talked to the citizens there, so many emphasized that having these necessities provided allowed them more time for spending with family or getting outside.

Limit social media use

Psychologists who study happiness are also concerned with some of the social trends that may be detracting from well-being, such as high social media use.

Social media fuels social comparison, which can inhibit feelings of connection and meaning and lead to more negative emotions.

Research into the mental health crisis we are seeing among adolescents and young adults is beginning to reveal that high amounts of time on social media is related to feeling more depressed, anxious and lonely.

Social media fuels social comparison, which can inhibit feelings of connection and meaning and lead to more negative emotions.

It’s not just positive thinking

Happiness is also not a function of blind optimism or thinking positively at all costs.

The experience of hardship and difficulty can lead to building resilience, which contributes to positive emotions and coping mechanisms in the long run.

When people are told that they need to think positively while they are facing a significant challenge or crisis, that can make the situation worse. The experience of hardship and difficulty, including a full experience of the difficult emotions and thoughts that come with it, often leads to building resilience, which contributes to positive emotions and coping mechanisms in the long run.

Cultivate gratitude

There are practices you can engage in to increase your daily experience of positive emotions. If there is something that you do like to do regularly, pay attention to it even for just a few moments.

If you start to pay attention to things you enjoy that you are already doing with greater frequency, you can increase your feelings of satisfaction with your life as it is.

I love my morning coffee, for instance. Often I’m not paying attention at all to drinking it—I’m thinking about other things. But if I take 10 seconds to breathe in the aroma, feel the warm mug in my hand and watch the steam rise, this gives me a momentary boost. And if you start to pay attention to things you enjoy that you are already doing with greater frequency, you can increase your feelings of satisfaction with your life as it is.

You don’t have to go to a spa; it’s as simple as looking up at the trees as you’re walking between classes. Maybe you’ll see a beautiful bird fly by.

Pay attention. Training yourself to recognize good, enjoyable, beautiful things that surround you helps cultivate a sense of gratitude and contentment. These are the building blocks of happiness.

 This illustration for this story was created by Lori Marchetti.